This is new too me. Maybe it will be therapeutic. Maybe I will help myself and maybe other women also.
I have often wondered are there women out there like me. Older, abused when you were first married. Didn’t understand and were terribly embarrassed. Maybe never told anyone. Maybe told lots of people and received less than supportive response.
I am 68 years old this month. Wow does that sound strange. When I was a blushing bride, I had no idea about abuse. Sure I had a friend whose Mom was abused my his father, but that was them. The Mom went to the hospital with a broken arm. I didn’t think a thing about it. That was just her. She was a “Witch” after all, so she probably deserved it. Yikes!!! I did have another friend whose older sister was constantly being abused by her nut job husband, She would farm out the kids, seven of them to Grandma. Again I thought she was nice and that he was a scum bucket, but hey what can you do??? As a teenager who cared!! I know it sounds nuts, but that is the way it was.
My father scared the crap out of me, but he didn’t beat my Mom. So I guess that was Ok. But I was terrified of him. I did get the crap beat out of me because of some dumb ass kid hijinks. Getting completely wasted in the middle of the day sitting out on someones lawn. This juvenile delinquent friend decided to take a bottle from a friend’s house and me and another dumb kid decided to drink it. Can’t t drink Seagram 7 to this day. Anyway we were unconscious and my father beat the crap out of me when I woke up in my bed at night!! My partner in crime went to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. We were grounded for the rest of the summer.
So this was my total exposure to abuse. Oh one other episode. While staying with a friend at her house on New Year’s Eve, her Mom and Dad got into a big low out. Never had heard a fight like that or ever. That was it for them. She divorced him. She was a pretty modern kind of lady. And of course everyone was Catholic just to make it even more complicated. My idea of everything came from Catholic school. So you can guess it wasn’t a very liberated view. You got married and you stayed married “until death do you part” I really thought the “better or worse” part also. Who knew. I just assumed the good came with the bad. Again not the brightest bulb at 16, especially back before the internet. It was a real struggle to understand anything, let alone married stuff!!!
So this will be my personal journey to enlightenment!! And hopefully along the way I will find “one of the lost” still out there. So we both know we are not alone!!