After I filed for divorce and had a restraining order I felt free. I was scared but free. I enrolled back in school, had a boyfriend, a friend from my high school days and was ok. He had moved out and moved in with his girlfriend. I found out later she was the lady I had meet at the Halloween party the week before. She was married and part of the group of friends he had from his job that didn’t include me. No wonder he didn’t want to go to that party!! She divorced her husband and they were living together. It hurt especially when my daughter was so excited to visit her Dad and his new girlfriend. But it was working. He would come and stay at the house with the kids and I would leave for the week-end. I was happy.
One week-end my boyfriend and I drove to Morro Bay up the California coast. It was a great get away. But when I returned home, my ex declared he was not leaving. He wanted his family back and he was so sorry. He wanted me to leave my boyfriend. He wrote letters to his parents and his friends telling them I was not the bad guy and that he had hit me and made my life miserable. He also wrote a letter to his girlfriend, telling her to have the baby and be happy. He had a vasectomy, so this baby was not his. It became clear his sudden change of tune. wanting his family back because his girlfriend was pregnant with someone else’s baby. I so no. He never sent the letters and I kept them.
After that he would not come and stay at the house with the kids. He cut child support. Which was the bare minimum. He just made life difficult. The control was back.