Living in Las Vegas!!

It’s been awhile since I have been on my blog.

I returned to the USA on December 25, 2018.  I had left Cambodia and travelled to Thailand to Pattata where my friend Mike lived.

What a nightmare trip I had from Siem Reap, Cambodia to the border of Thailand. The border is really disorganized. Its crowed. There are no clear signs. You need to have thai baht the when you cross over. I was sort of lost. I looked around for the first white person. Hoping they spoke English. Success, I asked a gentleman if he spoke English, he did. He was Australian!! I told him my problem and he told me to follow him, which I did. Unfortunately when we arrived at the correct location, I had missed a step. I needed something on my passport stamped by the police. So I had to return to find the police. My Auzzi friend went on ahead. But at least I knew where to go back to for immigration. and Cambodia. I

I found the policeman, but I had heard not to trust them. Somehow I found what I needed and returned to immigration. There were lots of people waiting in line, but it went quickly. When I approached the window, I was told I had to talk with someone. This was not feeling good.

Sitting at a big desk was a stern looking Thai official. She said I couldnt go over to Thailand because they only allow two land across overs a year. I said I had’nt had cross overs. Then it occurred to me that I did, I went once with the guy from Texas who had his Visa expire and I went with him to the border to get his visa. Of course we had no Thai money, so I had to figure out where to get thai baht. We found an ATM that thank God I had money in the bank and got the money to pay for his Visa. That was one trip over the border to Thailand and back. The second trip was bringing the same guy over the border in an ambulance. The hospital he had been at in Siem Reap was expensive and he needed to get to better care in Thailand. So that was my second cross over. I called my friend Mike in Pattaya and had him connect me to the doctor of the Texas guy to tell this Thai lady official that I had gone over because of sick man. She talked with doctor, laughed and smiled. I thought ok, I can cross over. Nope, cant cross over. I pleaded with her. Even offered some money, on the suggestion of friend Mike. Nope. I was told I could fly in. Then I realized I had a cab waiting in Thailand to drive me to Mike’s in Pattaya. Thank God I found the cabbie’s card. The lady called for me. I told her to tell him to go ahead without me with my luggage and go to Mike’s house. So I paid for a cab to drive my suitcases seven hours in a cab!!!

So back thru immigration to find a cab back to Siem Reap airport in Cambodia. It’s a hour and a half ride back.

I found a cab with other people, who did not speak English. On the way back. They turned off the main road, down a dirt road. It was dark now and my phone was dead. After a long trip down thus road, we stopped. People came out if the trees. I was terrified. I thought I was going to die. But there was nothing I could do but sit there watching what was going on. Someone got in. They were picking up another passenger. Thank God. I was’nt going to be robbed and left dead!!!

I made it back to Siem Reap airport. I tried to find immigration, but it was closed because it was late. I was exhausted. I was stressed. Not knowing if they were going to let me fly into Bangkok, Thailand. I was so tired. I called my tuk-tuk driver Sophoan to come to the airport and get me. But by the time he got there. I had gotten a ticket to Thailand. But it was great to see him. I had been sitting outside with my phone plugged into a outside socket because I needed my phone. If course when I arrived in Thailand I would need to buy a new sim card with Thai number.

I kissed Sophan good bye and got online to board the plane!! I don’t know how long the flight was, but probably one or two hours. I still had to get from Bangkok to Pattaya, which was another hour or two.

I arrived in Bangkok, and found a cab that would drive me to Mike’s in Pattaya. I arrived at Mike’s, after some difficulty telling the cab driver. He was on the phone with Mike getting directions. He was’nt familiar with Pattatya. Mike picked up my luggage from the bus depot that he directed the other taxi that had driven without me for seven hours!! By the way, Mike speaks Thai. He is not Thai, but learned thirty years ago when he first went to Thailand to date girls!!

What a nightmare. By now I was sick. Coughing, sneezing and exhausted. I did get sleep and the next day we went to Nan’s house, Mike’s ex Thai wife. Beautiful house and Nan was always very gracious. It was Christmas day and Nan had planned dinner and a drive over to Rayong where the Texas guy was in a hospital. That’s a whole other story. But Mike was cranky. He did’nt want to drive to Rayong, which was maybe 45 minutes away. Anyway, I too was cranky and I decided to leave. I had him drive me to a hotel and said good-bye. I checked in. Got a beautiful room overlooking the bay. Merry Christmas!!

Twenty years

It didnt happen all at once. The youngest were now twenty-five years old. We had lived thru the agony of losing a son and brother. For ten years after his murder we had to regroup. Three of the girls were still in high school. Being just fifteen and sixteen. The twins had a birthday that February on the 28th or 29th I cant remember because they were leap year twins. Their older sister had a Birthday that February, the 18th, two days after her brother was murdered at her 20th birthday party at her house. Yes, she had moved in with several other college students and decided to have her party. Every ten years she would be reminded on her 30th, 40th, 50th etc. That her brother was gone ten more years.

It took quite a while for her to even allow me to talk of her brother Jerry. It was just in the last few months, and it had been thirty years this February 16th. She never did get counseling. She said it was a waste. The girls tried but didnt like it. I went. I was prescribed anti depressants. I tried going to “Parents of Murdered Children” (POMC). But to be a a large group of people, telling their horrible stories was too much for me, being there alone. I needed support. The girls would’nt go. My parents had already passed away and I had no siblings and had no husband or significant other. I had been divorced ten years before my son died. And there had’nt been much time for a lasting relationships with five kids under the age of twelve. With working and going to college, there was only so much time for romance.

Twenty years is how long I have lived in pain. No not the pain of losing my son. The pain of losing his sisters. Not by a knife, but by their own doing.

I am reclaiming my life.

Today I have decided that I am going to reclaim my life. For the past twenty years, ten years after my oldest child and only son was murdered by a group of men that claimed to be the Linda Vista Crips. The man who actually drove a knife into my sons heart, is still in prison. It was thirty years February 16th. That I lost my son.