Trying meditation

I have started meditation trying to connect to the universe. Things are still pretty shaky with my family, so going beyond myself helps.

Whenever I feel sad or angry about how things have worked out, it’s the time to put in all perspective.

My youngest children were twins. They were very young when I left their father. I had three older children. So I had been in a bad situation a long time. Just naive I guess. I meet my ex when I was sixteen. Still in high school. He just out of the army after two years.

Anyway, my oldest, my son knew what went on. He knew and someday he could explain to the younger ones. But he was murdered. So that was gone. I hate being classified as a victim. I am a survivor. So it really gets me that my children, women, don’t get it. Sad, oh well. Nothing I can do but reach out to other survivors. Haven’t found any yet. I was sure there would be women out there that ran into guys that were nasty. Thought nothing if shoving around women. It’s awful.